Thrive in 2011. The aliveness, joy and happiness that many of us seek with the coming of a new year will not come from surface resolutions. One resolution I find to be the grand daddy of them all is the intention to know myself better so all my choices are anchored in the deepest truth of who I am. The resolution to discover my own essence in its totality-- goes straight to the root. Where roots live underground and rarely seen in a darkness that can cloak the mystery of who I am-- I go on a search to see what is truly nourishing me. There lies my personal truth, which no one else can define, like a precious mineral in the barren soil waiting to be recognized, absorbed and assimilated into the living animation of our material form-- the body and mind. There are many 'truths' like many minerals in the soil, some will do a satisfactory job but there are often precious few and even one that just shouts “Bingo”!! It is the one that catapults the seedling upward on its perilously journey, piercing the earths crusts and growing tenaciously and vigorously toward the light no matter what the circumstance. It is the truth that will nourish and feed you in all kinds of weather.
For some it is a truth that at we are all interconnected. Consequently, the choices and the actions that follow are attempts to affirm and live from this truth. Knowing that your imprint on this earth, the words that you speak will create a ripple outward eventually affecting all beings everywhere direct your actions. One of my deepest truths is that we are all beings of supreme love and that pure goodness and light is our core essence. When I am feeling healthy, happy and well this is an easy truth to behold. But occasionally my truth is tested and the roots gets yanked out of the ground and dangle lifelessly in thin air. When this happens I instantly feel “ungrounded” and “up-rooted” and my body manifests this immediately and I sense a “pulling” up from the inside. I begin to walk around like I reverse balloon-- sucked up from the inside. My organs pull up, my pelvic floor tightens and even the skin on my body grips tighter. With roots above ground I am no longer close to the source of my nourishment-- my mind becomes foggy and my body starved for nourishment. If I make an important choice from this place it will certainly be one made with lack of clarity and one from fear because that is the state I am in.
Being aware of these sensations are key first step as awareness always proceeds change or transformation of any kind. Once I feel this happening I pause to see what truth I am operating on. Can I find my deepest truth still alive inside of me .. somewhere.. anywhere? A pause is the next most important step toward replanting the roots and all too often this pause gets put on hold like a call coming into a busy doctors office.. “please hold, you are caller 127, we are taking calls in the order received” then the hideous elevator music (or worse the trying to be hip, alternative music station comes on with the latest grind and grunge). A PAUSE of this nature.. one that is questioning the very core of who you are is not to be put off. I swiftly move this one up to the primo attention spot and let the others reorganize themselves.
The pause creates space to breathe and the spaciousness softens my mind that has severely constricted around all the analysis and cloak of control it is clinging to. The pause defies the frenetic active flow around me and freeze-frames the chaos that swirls between the dangling roots and the soil beneath. The pause allows the truth of bodily feelings, sensations to arise and guide me back to nourishment. I notice that my body never lies-- my gut, muscles, skin and breath all tell me exactly how well I am assimilating the life I am co-creating. And, it is the place that can bring me back to the ground-- the earthy existence of real life. And, reveals how to best express and celebrate my truth in this material form. With the breath and meditative movement like yoga or dance I begin to feel the natural magnetic pull toward the earth, like gravity’s invisible yet steadfast draw into the earths core that pause pulls me back toward my center. My thirsty roots plunge back into the earth and feel gratefully to be back home. A deepening breath and sigh of relief signals a softening of my skin draping it like silk over my body while my organs settle and nestle back into the inner caves of my relaxed chest and pelvis. From this centered place I re-connect with my truth.. I sense if it is still true for me. My body reflects the answer through its steady, calm, deepening breath and the joy that begins to bubble up from the ever-present geyser inside. And, all this can happen in a matter of seconds when I am in a place of knowing myself. Seeing the places I get hung-up, hung-out and rung-out to dry I honor the old wounds of my life. I also laugh at them more these days... a great side effect of allowing my flag to fly free catch the wind and occasionally get batted in storms over years.
My resolution of resolutions is to take the time to see, to feel and to inquire about my deepest truth. It is the truth that sends me on an inner quest to know myself. A truth that guides me upward toward the light and reveals the essence of who I am. And, that is a gloriously deep resolution worth making.
By, Sienna Smith
